Embracing the Strange

Moving the blog

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 03:02:00 +0000

It's quite exhausting for me to keep up with two kids and two blogs.

So I'm combining them, finally. The new blog is on Wordpress, and you can find it here.

I hope you will all keep reading and commenting. I know I haven't blogged much at all lately, but I'm hoping to start blogging daily/semi-daily again. So for regular updates about my adventures in the worlds of Craft and Unschooling, as well as any future patterns, please update links and/or bookmarks. I have already exported all the files from both blogs to the new blog. If you are interested in the knitting but don't care about the unschooling-- or vice versa-- I've categorized everything accordingly.

Bubbly

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:37:00 +0000

I've been wanting to blog. Truly. Just haven't gotten in the mindset much. Oh, I do have tons to say. I probably won't say it all today. But I think this must end the unscheduled blogging hiatus I've been on here in the last couple of weeks.

Last week we all got sick one at a time. The kids got sick and got over it in about 3 days. I, however, was sick for a week and a half. Some sort of evil cold/flu thing got me and then moved into my lungs for a few days. But we're all better now, thankfully.

This week has been good.

Sunday my dad got a dog, and told Rowan it was her dog. He's a brown husky named Buster, and I think I was hit the hardest by the puppy love. I hope to get pictures soon! Oh, the puppy love.. the fuzziness of it.

Monday... was the perfect unschooling day. Everything flowed and was beautiful. Dairbhre did some pegboard puzzles while Rowan did some bigger puzzles, and I helped them back and forth so they wouldn't get frustrated. Ro looked up a bunch of pictures of fawns on the computer and we talked about them a lot. Then she went to Etsy and we looked up items made with pictures of fawns on them there. We spent about an hour on National Geographic Kids, looking at pictures of animals and watching the videos, but her favorite thing was reading the facts. At one point I was afraid I was boring her by reading the facts (they're pretty lengthy and thorough) and went right to the video, and she said, "I don't want to see the video, I want to read about it!" She seemed to like to read about the ferocious animals the most. We had a simple conversation involving addition while I was cooking, using bottle caps for illustration. We made pictures by drawing with glue on a piece of paper, then putting coffee beans in the glue. In the evening we doodled together, and I wrote the descriptions of what I was drawing under the picture. I was so amazed at my patience all day!+

Tuesday, we went to the park. We were there for over three hours! Rowan stole a bunch of little girls away at the top of the slide tower and they made up games. Dairbhre got really interested in the creek. He was about to just walk into it. So I gave him some rocks, and he stood there throwing one rock after the other into the creek, completely hypnotized, for an hour. Ro joined us and even after my warning about not getting too close to the creek, she fell in. Which was really really funny (since she wasn't hurt of course).

Yesterday, well... wasn't so great. I got a lot done. I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. That's how exactly insane I was. But I was sort of in a pissy mood and wasn't the best mom....

But today, we had a great great day. I just got back from our homeschool group. We were there about 4 hours. I love those people. Guys, if you're reading this, I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!! *Imma get mushy* Our group means so much to me, and to my kids, and I'm so grateful for it. When I got there I was all feeling a bit down on my abilities. Lately I've been trying to give Rowan reading lessons due to homeschool split personality disorder, and she's been so NOT INTO IT. She sighs and pulls her hair and just slumps over and makes wild guesses without thinking (in fact, absolutely refusing to think) just so it will be over. And I was all worried about that, and after talking to you all, I feel so much better. Thank You. I really think she isn't ready. There is a lot of research to support me when I say that a LOT of kids are not ready at age 3 like I was... that age 7 is much, much better... and that pushing it on her NOW, when she isn't ready, is not going to do anything but make her dislike reading. I feel like I'm being hounded by family members to sit down and give her lessons, but hey, I know her learning style best. And that's the beauty of homeschooling. For those of us who unschool or school-at-home or whatever, the beauty is that we know how our kids learn best! I'm not going to put my little one in a box any longer. The reason I've been so attracted to unschooling is because of how Rowan learns, which is amazingly similar to how I learn.

Re-reading over this post, I see it's full of run on sentences and possibly makes no sense in places... but I'm excited to be blogging! I think I'll be posting regularly again!

My boy turns 2 today

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:38:00 +0000

I have a quick minute and I wanted to share...

I made pancakes with blackberry syrup, and my little man is pretty happy about it :D

Dairbhre was an afternoon baby, just like I was.

Last night in the dark I told him the story of his birth:

It was a week past my due date. I kept having contractions every night but they stopped when I went to bed. So I decided to stay up all night. I watched episode after episode of Northern Exposure, sitting cross-legged on the floor, rocking back and forth. About 9 o'clock in the morning, my water broke.

It was an easy birth, to a delightfully healthy 8 pound 7 ounce boy. The doctor handed him to me and he laid on my belly, so tiny!

And the way his hair lay all dark auburn against his ivory skin was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. The most perfect and unusual of color combinations.

Back and Feeling Lighter

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 03:48:00 +0000

I'm posting this to Mombot Companion too. I want some encouragement. Also, I'm thinking more and more about building a homepage, putting my patterns on there as both html and pdf downloads, and combining my blogs. I want to post daily but can't do it with both blogs, you know?

I've gotten really inspired by this flickr set, by a girl who downsized from a 3 bedroom, large house to a one bedroom apartment with her husband and little one. Her name is Sara, her blog is interesting too. I found all this through this thread on MDC.

It's gotten me to think a lot... about all my stuff. How I just purged a shit ton a few months ago, and how I've been working on it, filling my previously bare closet with boxes of the kids' toys and clothes that they'll never play with/wear-- and how I still have all this crap everywhere! I can't even sweep or vacuum! It's complete insanity.

So today, I've worked on purging. I have about 6 garbage bags full so far, of just TRASH. I'm talking about pizza boxes and juice bottles and trampled artwork and random papers that were just laying in the middle of our living spaces. Insanity, I tell you. I cleared off the kitchen counter, mostly, just by throwing stuff away. While Boo Bear was splashing in the bath, I was getting THREE garbage bags full of stuff out of the bathroom. No shit! Three. I went through all my makeup and products. I don't use that shit. Ever. I kept enough makeup to halfway fill up a tiny box. I now do not even own any foundation. I kept some makeup because occasionally I like to pretend I'm not a granola muncher, and wear some. Just sometimes, you know.

I have a plan. A glorious plan, to radically downsize.

--throw out most of my magazines. Except the craft ones.
--make a giant thick bag out of all my crappy scratchy acrylic yarn, slightly smaller than the giant tupperware I have my yarn in now, and store the rest of my yarn in there.
--trade in a lot of my books for fewer ones of better quality.
--I have a lot of old empty ripped up photo albums, for some reason. I'm tossing them.
--I'm throwing out the old journals I've kept that are mind numbingly boring.
--Clothing: purge even more, radically reduce all our clothing, especially shoes, and blankets.
--Donate D's old stroller and carseat.
--Kitchen: clean out cabinets and toss old food and random junk that's in there now. Get rid of extra plates, utensils, and gadgets.
--Bathroom: Already downsized that shit, but do it some more. Am I really going to use a hair iron?

I also have some space saving/decorating projects in mind that don't involve throwing shit away all willy nilly. I've decided that if I'm going to keep my yarn and fabric I'm going to have to start using it like crazy.
--Sew up some hanging shelves for the closet.
--Make a needle roll case.
--Make colorful wall hangings with pockets, and some without.
--Make archive boxes out of paper covered cereal boxes for the few magazines I'm keeping.
--Go through the giant bags from my old car that I have had around for MONTHS.
--Put books I'm keeping on shelves. They're mostly in boxes now.
--USE MY DRAWER SPACE. Clothes everywhere and empty drawers. WTF.
--Make some aprons. I made one last week that I really love and hope to get pictures of it soon. It makes me feel like a homemaking goddess. I'm wearing it now and I feel so strong and awesome.

Becca sent me a big box of yarn the other day and I've got plans for that. I'm making Boo Bear a sweater already. She sent me a lot of Caron Simply Soft, which I adore. Enough to make me and the kids a couple/few sweaters, and stuff. Also some really soft and fuzzy white acrylic which I may make bears or something out of. And some yellow sport weight that I'm thinking of knitting into lacy curtains with big needles. I have always wanted yellow curtains in my kitchen. There's some cotton-like stuff, that I'm thinking of making into baskets. She even tucked in some homemade soap and a little Martha Stewart craft mag for kids (which Rowan is going to spaz over!) So thanks again, Becca! It made me so happy to get that package.

I shall update on my purging/downsizing progress. This week is my Major Purge Week. Anyone want to do it along with me? I figure actually taking stuff to the dump and to be donated all week, and then doing at least 15 mins a day after this week, should get my stuff as radically simplified as I'd like.

Who's with me? It's quite freeing.

Happy morning

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:35:00 +0000

This morning Dairbhre got me up at 6:18. I actually woke up rather cheerful, as I have been lately. We found we were out of milk so we ran to the store. Such a novelty, to run to the store at 6:30 in the morning, just me and my little man. After not having a car for so long it's so weird to have that option. Good weird.

I got a lot accomplished before I turned on the computer at about 11:00. I wanted to share a couple of really great articles I read this morning:

From Scott Noelle: What is 'Unconditionality?' -- The writer of the Daily Groove talks about the mindset we must stay in to offer unconditional love not only to our children, but first, to ourselves.

And from Ned Vare (I love this guy!!!!): Dumbing Us Down In Seven Lessons. Ned's blog is called School is Hell and it makes me happy and angry and charged up all at once.

It seems like half the peoples on my Bloglines list have the flu or have this week or know someone who does. Bless y'all's hearts. Feel better soon!!!

Little Photographer

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:43:00 +0000

Rowan learned how to use the webcam today, and took over 250 pictures. All the pictures in this post were taken by her, today.

We have been running around like crazy free birds lately-- mostly due to getting a car. We've been a lot happier lately instead of feeling completely trapped, but I have neglected the house (as I haven't been home a lot) and indeed, this blog.

"Momma, get over here and let's do our demented faces!" Ro said. All I have to do is make this face and my kids squeal and run far, far away. It's endlessly amusing. But hey, she didn't do it with me!

I've had a couple of family members challenge me on my unstructured ways lately. I don't want to go into the details and the peeves I have with it, but I will say that having people be so distrusting of my judgment is making it really hard for me to trust myself.

So, I am starting a journal. I'm not sure how long I will need to keep it, but I am mainly starting it to help my family see what natural learning looks like. I'll be writing down what the kids are learning, what we've done for the day, and any amusing things that come out of their tiny mouths. I may be posting semi-nightly to this blog, listing what I've written down through the day, maybe some pictures, etc. (Or, once a week. Who am I kidding?)

Today:

It's snowing today. I pulled out the kids' snowsuits and snow boots and we went out after breakfast. Dairbhre really liked stomping around and crunching the snow under his feet but seemed nervous when I was a few steps away. Rowan buried her hat. She spent so much time making sure it was totally covered, piling armfuls of snow on top of it and patting them down.

We came inside and used the Eyeclops (AKA Best Toy Ever), pictured above. This is a microscope that plugs into the TV. It magnifies everything way more than I thought it would. You can spend ages exploring every little cavern in a piece of popcorn. The fibers on your t-shirt look like they were knit with needles the size of broom handles. And the fibers in anything hand knit just looks like a very hairy beast. Anyway, today we looked at snow, which was really pretty, but melty. I squeezed the water out of my green tea bag, and looked at that, and Rowan says, "Oh stop, you're going to make me throw up!" There were little tiny water bubbles gurgling around under the surface of the paper. It ruled.

As I mentioned, Rowan learned to use the webcam today, and took pictures for about 45 minutes. It was amazing how focused she was. She got into setting up scenes, taking pictures of the almost creepy gnomes on top of my monitor:

And a Littlest Pet Shop seal in a bowl of popcorn:

And my eyeballs.

And baby brother.

It's only 5:30pm but we've already had a really full, enriching day. I've had so much fun today being snowed in.

Last night: Rowan brought me a book of nursery rhymes to read to her. I remembered that when she was about 2 1/2 she had all the nursery rhymes in this collection of books memorized, and would sit on my dad's lap and correct him when he pronounced something wrong. So when I sat down I showed her how she already knew the rhymes, and showed her how to point her finger at the words as she said them. We talked about rhyming and how mitten and kitten both end with itten. I asked her if she could point out certain words to me and she found them easily.

She's been doing a lot of stuff at Starfall lately-- she's moved past the ABC's and onto the Learn To Read section. I let her click around a lot, and I sit beside her and gently guide her so she doesn't get frustrated. She normally finishes each little lesson thingy even though she knows how to close them out and go back. She's learning her way around the computer really well. She likes to go to Etsy and look at the handmade dolls and ask me if I'll make whatever she likes for her.

Some solitude... and meltdown lessons

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:25:00 +0000

Firstly, big cheesy virtual hugs to Laura and Ren for the comments on my last post. You guys are the best support net a gal could have. Ren admitting that she is sometimes an asshole (even if I do find that hard to believe :D) helps me start to forgive myself. And yes, Laura, being able to apologize and just say, "Hey, you know what? I'm being a total control freak. Thanks for that. You go on, I'm sorry." is so healing!

Today, the kids were with their assorted grandparents for a whopping 6 hours. I spent about half that time knitting and listening to this talk on archive.org with Sandra Dodd and Richard Prystowsky, on peaceful parenting. Wow. I would recommend this to any parent. It's about having a peaceful relationship with your child and the importance of meditation practice-- the planting of peaceful seeds, internally. It deals a lot with anger-- how troubled times WILL come, and how to deal with them. Just the sound of Sandra Dodd's voice makes me question what I'm doing.

So... after listening to that talk, I had a few more hours to kill. It was quite insane how much I missed my wee beasties. I started thinking, Dammit! I want to practice peaceful parenting right NOW! Right now I say! (Typical me, that.)

I managed to get the toys in the living room straightened out. They had so much stuff in here that they couldn't get to the cool toys for all the junk-- you know the kind, all the stuffed animals they got for Easter last year, etc. I got two boxes to give away, a big plastic box to put away (so I'll have something to pull out for crazy days), and a trashbag of stuff that is, in fact, trash. It's a lot better and more open now. Rowan squealed with delight, no joke. I won't try to pretend that it wasn't all mixed with laundry and Pringles cans. It won't take nearly as long to pick up now.

By the time the kids got back, I was so glad to have them. Dairbhre's grandparents had given Rowan a Valentine's Day present, which turned out to be Milo and Otis on DVD! I feigned falling to the floor in amazement-- that was my favorite movie as a kid. I watched it after school every single day for at least 2 years. I ran to the DVD player and said, "Oh yeah, we're watching this RIGHT NOW!" (I get like that, have you noticed???)

So, at first Ro was like, "I don't like how they keep talking." (The movie is just footage of cats and dogs and animals-- it took four years to make-- with a narrator telling the story and doing the voices of the characters.) Then she got really freaked out over chairs-- she wanted both of the kid chairs beside each other and Boo Bear kept knocking one over and they were both screaming over it, so Chad went and put it up. It wasn't really my place to argue, and I honestly could not figure out what they even wanted. Rowan became completely incoherent with crying and screaming over this chair, that she wanted to sit in THAT chair (it was identical to the one she was sitting in). Normally both kids having meltdowns at once causes me to melt down. But I kept my cool. I didn't even get frustrated. I took Rowan into her room and got her pj's on. She was still freaking out by the time they were on, she thought I was going to make her to to bed. She kept yelling, "Answer me! Do I have to go to bed now? Yes or NO?!" but she was screaming so loud she wouldn't have heard me. I just sat down with her and told her to breathe with me. After two deep breaths she started giggling. We went back into the living room and she got really into the movie. She very calmly asked where the chair was, so I fetched it for her. No more worries.

I think I learned something from that peaceful parenting talk.

Elation and Despair

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 18:17:00 +0000

An eloquent description of my week.

Firstly, the causes of despair, so we can end on a happy note. (Stick with me, it does get happy, really.)

Dairbhre, who will be two next month, has started hitting. Sometimes it is an attention getting thing, but sometimes I'll be sitting there with him talking to him and he'll just be wailing on me with a toy. He's been hitting his sister on top of the head with toy wrenches and such. I have to firmly tell him to stop-- he either keeps on or bursts into tears.

But look at this little face... he really is a sweetie.

And Rowan... she has been very rude to me. She puts her hands on her hips and scowls and resists me in everything I try to do for her. She is doing what I would have before called, "Mouthing off." In an unschooling environment I'm trying to look at it differently these days, but it's been really difficult for me to not see it this way here lately.

For Example: The other day we were doing a Google image search for baby seals. Of course, one of the images that popped up was a guy standing over a seal with a club about to kill it. I tried to distract her but she insisted we click on that one. I told her what was going on. I thought it would make her see in a real way how sad that was. (Although looking back, maybe I shouldn't have told her?) Well, instead of feeling sad for the seal, she says, "I want to go to Alaska and club a baby seal so I can have a nice, soft coat." Okay, so now this is sort of funny. But she was totally serious, and I was trying to figure out how you tell a child why clubbing defenseless baby animals so you can cut off their skin is not right, if this isn't already an instintual feeling! Anyway, I grew very weary of this conversation and noticed that the baby on my breast was falling asleep. So I very gently asked her if she'd mind going and playing on her own for a little while so that I could get brother to sleep, and then we could play. Well, she refused. Quite loudly. And she woke him up. And I ended up yelling. Not only that but I physically forced her into her room, while she screamed at me. (And I'm well aware of how wrong this is!)

I've ended up yelling a few times this week. I want to just tape my mouth shut. This week it is definitely hormones getting to me, just as it was last month, but it's not an excuse. I think during this time of month, I should just vow to myself to shut the hell up, always, unless I am asked a direct question, and then I must think about it internally, be still internally for a moment, and then speak without rudeness.

In short, I've been a rude asshole myself.

BUT! There have been some great times this week. I think that Ro went through a short period of deschooling, and now what we're doing is sincerely unschooling (not radical unschooling, though that is my final goal. I've just been too much of an asshole lately to allow myself that label). She has been asking me questions that revolve around numbers. She is actually learning more math just by talking to me than she ever would with worksheets or even doing it on paper. I don't think it's even necessary to do it on paper at this point-- in the future it may serve her well to be able to do figuring on paper, but it will be because she NEEDS it. She answered my dad correctly when he asked her how many hours are in a day (of course, he was bribing her with tootsie rolls :D) She has also been obsessed with how old everyone she knows is and how old they'll be when she is their age.

We've also been playing a lot with rhymes, with talking and on paper. I wrote "Heather" and "Weather" on a piece of paper and she figured it out!! She is so close to reading and it's so exciting to be on this edge of discovery. I am really enjoying having her home, despite my asshole-ish tendencies. She's my little pal.

We made clothespin dolls together:

And I made these little Waldorf-inspired bendy dolls for Dairbhre...

...using this tutorial as inspiration. Their heads are wooden beads, their bodies are pipecleaners wrapped in cotton crochet thread. I whipstiched the little felt clothes right onto them. Now how adorable are they, hmm? Pretty damn adorable. Boo Bear likes em too-- they're just right for his wee hands. I think the faces are more Fisher-Price Little People (old school) inspired than Waldorf, but no face freaks me out and simpler faces weren't working it for me.

So, sweet readers, thank you for allowing me to come sit down in my little confession box and spew all my guts, so that I might forgive myself and move forward.

How much Time?

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 00:26:00 +0000

I was just reading Sandra Dodd's article entitled Precisely How to Unschool, in which she answers the question, "How much time should I spend with my child every day if I want to unschool?"

If you want to measure, measure generously. If you want to give, give generously. If you want to unschool, or be a mindful parent, give, give, give. You'll find after a few years that you still have everything you thought you had given away, and more.

A Very Rowan Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:08:00 +0000

My Rowan is now 5 years old.

Sitting around the breakfast table on her birthday she suddenly grinned and said, "I'm not four anymore." I asked her if it felt weird. For the rest of the day she had these moments where she stopped what she was doing and said, "It feels weird to be not be four anymore." Good weird.

She had an awesome day. She helped me make a cake, then my dad came over and we ate it. My mom and stepdad came over to get her and took her out to dinner and Libby Loo, where she got her hair and nails done. She came home looking like a princess.

I am going to start experimenting with schedules. I had written out this thing where I had decided I wasn't going to call myself an unschooler because of this-- but I'm coming to see unschooling as a very broad term, and I'm tired of asking myself the very ridiculous question of "Does this go against the rules of unschooling?" What kind of a question is that anyway? Maybe instead of not calling myself an unschooler, I can just effing relax, and quit torturing myself. Identifying as unschooling has definitely put me in touch with some like-minded folks.

Anyway, the schedules. Okay, so I feel incompetent. I spend a lot of days in my pj's, not getting anything accomplished or paying near enough attention to the kids. I'm going to try to get my sporadic sleep times worked out and get up at 7:00 in the morning. I've noticed if I get up about an hour before everyone else, then go wake them up, not only do they not stay awake half the night, but they are better tempered and happier. When I leave them to wake up themselves they tend to wake up in a bad mood, but if I go snuggle them for a few minutes to wake them they are all happy within a few minutes. And I like that time too, before everyone gets up. Before, I was just going to bed when they did and getting up when they poked me awake. Now I'm doing Surya Namaskara (Salutation to the Sun) upon waking, getting a shower in, getting fully dressed, eating breakfast, drinking a cup of tea, and checking email/blogs/posting to my journal. Seriously. That's a good start to the day, all that beautiful still peace of the morning. That's the way it should be.

Rowan loves schedules. I don't think having one would go against unschooling because of this and the fact that I'm not going to be enforcing them. I expect her to do more enforcing than me-- she's a bit on the bossy side. Anyway, I'm thinking that she would actually really like it if we had art time, dance time, reading time, music time... stuff like that. I'm going to have her help me plan this. It may be useful for at least awhile to get me on track.

But I am not going to make them do worksheets or enforce any kind of school work, especially if it causes nothing more than tears and frustration. I'm still not going to enforce a strict bedtime, but instead "make the room sleepy" so they'll get tired. (Earlier. This stuff where I have two little kids running around at 2am is not working for me.) I'm still going to work on my control issues, and trust, and keeping quiet when before I'd have been yelling.

Some things I wish I could just insert directly into my brain:

12 Exercises for Mindful Parenting
The Noble Eightfold Path
The Dhammapada

Back on the Path

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:19:00 +0000

me and ro, yesterday. Taken by my momma.

It's really first thing in the morning for me now, here at almost 10:30. I haven't even made my first cup of tea. Therefore, my thoughts may appear to be random.

I got a new keyboard (well, new/old) and another one just in case I have a brain leak and bring anymore beverages by the computer. Looks like I'm all equipped for blogging now. I've had it for a few days, I just really haven't been doing too much online. I've been reading some articles on Buddhism, reacquainting myself with the Noble Eighfold Path and such-- to boost my moral. I'm really enjoying the chance to unschool myself! The Buddhist studies seem to keep me on track and help ease my shaky feelings on starting this new life.

Ro is suddenly quite obsessed with cleaning and organizing. Every day she wants me to keep her brother out of their room so that she can put everything away. She scrubbed the kitchen floor the other day, as well as being sneaky and cleaning the bathroom counter (she even wiped down the tub). I was wondering what she was doing in there for so long.

I've been a lot better about saying yes, trying to remember to come from a place of good intentions rather than a desire to control. We've only had a couple of hard spots. One of them involved nail polish-- I have nail polish issues. I simply hate it. It gives me a headache and she drips it all over the bathroom and it's so hard to clean up! I am not sure about her breathing all those fumes, either-- we usually do it outside but it's been too cold. I mean, when we paint her toenails at least I'm done pretty quick, but when she paints her own fingernails, it takes her ages. She picks a color and starts, then she calls for me two or three times to come get it off because she's changed her mind about the color. The nail polish remover is especially heinous. Even when you wash your hands really good you can still taste it when you eat anything with your hands. Gross. So I sort of just made a deal with her that she could take it over to my mom's house (where they do all manner of primping) and she's not too hurt by it. She noticed how bad the stuff tasted on her hands, and realized that it's not all dandy. It's fun sometimes but it's not a good idea for every day.

She's still loving the short hair, check her out:

also taken by my mom, Boo Bear in the background looking wild and blurry

And here's one of the blurry Boo Bear (he really is more in focus in real life, most of the time), just to share the whole set my mom sent me this morning.

I'm on hiatus.

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:15:00 +0000

The Boo Bear spilled coffee on my keyboard. It is now shot. It's really my fault for leaving it where he can get it anyway-- at least it wasn't hot. It's almost funny, because he did the same thing last month. I think he's trying to tell me something. "Hey Mom-- Crazy lady... can I have some love over here or something? What is so interesting about all of these 'blogs'?"

Last month when my other keyboard died Chad got me a new one for my birthday. I think I'm probably out of luck now. I'm using his computer which is rather unfortunate as he has extremely good eyesight and has the text size set to like, size 8. Anyway, I've sort of expressed my gratitude for the Boo Bear's ruining of my keyboard-- I am not joking when I say that my internet usage was becoming obsessive. I would sit there and click the refresh page half the day to see if I had any new email since about 15 seconds ago.

So I'm taking a blogging/computer hiatus. No worries. This is my third day of unschooling, and I just checked my email once yesterday. I am really living a full life here, without worrying if I've gotten a message in my Ravelry inbox yet.

Just to report, this week has been excellent so far. I have been happier with my kids the last few days than I could have ever imagined. Yesterday, Rowan brought me the box of Hooked-on-Phonics and said, "Hey, let's do this!" We started on it, and covered the kitchen table, and in a moment of panic I thought, "Oh my GOD! We're sitting around the kitchen table doing school!" But then I calmed down, when I remembered that she had initiated it. She did about 4 days worth of lessons without wanting to stop or getting frustrated. Learning to read is really important to her, and she's really interested in it. She gets bored easily when I try to give her little lessons, but I'm realizing that hey, that's okay. She is allowed to get bored. Then we just dig in our box o'art trash and find something to glue to something else. Hooray, boredom is chased away.

Another thing-- she started asking me this weekend to cut her hair. She really would not stop going on about it. "I want my hair short!" she kept saying. Like Sadie's. So I said... Well, let's sleep on that. The next day she was still going on and on about it without any reminders. Her hair was almost down to her butt at that point. I was really not wanting to cut it, but it's such an ordeal to brush it lately, she just cries and whines and screams.

So I cut it. A lot, lot shorter than I had meant to. And you know what? It's really effing cute. And she LOVES it. I think it has made her feel empowered to be able to have her hair the way she wanted. She asked me to cut it about a year ago and I said simply: No way. But it's HER HAIR. She is not an extension of my body, she's her own little person.

You should see her dance around. "I'm doing my I-Love-My-Short-Hair dance, Mom!" This feels sort of symbolic-- the first day of unschooling, we cut her hair the way she wanted. She's got a whole new look to compliment this whole new, exciting life!

She's been feeling a lot better now that she can go to bed when she is tired. It's been pretty late lately, around midnight-1AM, but I'm going to make more of an effort to start getting up earlier so that maybe she'll be waking up with me. (She has radar anyway, she wakes up at least a half hour after me.) She is going through some deschooling now, so I'm just going to let her be Ro.

I've learned a lot in the last two days, about saying yes, about limits, rules vs principles, etc. I learned that Rowan can go to sleep without me insisting on closing the door. She can just drop off in five minutes even when her baby brother is running in and out of the room babbling in his sweet little baby language.

It feels good to let go.

I'll be back soon enough-- especially if I have something to say.

I'm gonna jump!

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:26:00 +0000

...into unschooling, that is.

Ro went to school on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night, I was mentioned it was time to get ready for bed, and she had a complete meltdown. "I don't want to go," she sobbed. I talked to her about it. I told her that if she wants to go to school she needs to get rest. She insisted that she didn't want to go anymore. We've had this conversation a few times in the past-- she mostly just decides within a few minutes that she doesn't want to miss school the next day, and begrudgingly goes to bed.

This time, not so. She stayed home Wednesday, and it was a glorious day. Then she stayed home Thursday, and Friday. Every day I ask her if she is SURE she doesn't want to go anymore. She told me yesterday to quit asking. I also met with her dad last night and we talked it through. He agrees to not purchasing a curriculum in a box, no worksheets, that learning is done best through doing, etc. But he wants us to make sure that we make plenty of opportunities for learning and social interaction. He wants me to have a few hours a day where I am focused on Rowan. I agreed to that, of course. (As long as she doesn't get annoyed that I'm hovering!)

So Monday is our first official day of unschooling. I'm going to fill out the forms to remove her from the program. I'm really excited, a little scared, and also really proud of her for making such a big girl decision. I mean, she realizes that she won't be seeing her friends and teachers anymore. That was what kept her there. But she's willing to sacrifice that because she sees that she has more freedom this way.

She's only been in Head Start since August, but I still think we'll need a month or so to deschool. I think more than having to purge herself of the school, it will be purging of all the limits I've put on her in the past. I'll also need to deschool myself!

I'm excited.
I'm happy.
I'm scared.
But I'm jumping in.

I'm reading John Holt's book What Do I Do Monday?, which is quite the appropriate title. I'm asking myself that question a lot in the last couple of days.

For one, I'm definitely going to have a few hours at the start of every day where I do not do any of my own creative projects, I don't read my own books to myself, I don't get online, don't get so into a cleaning project that I can't stop my whirlwind. I'm thinking the first 4-5 hours of the day. Get up, make breakfast, then play with my babies, read to them, strew learning materials. I think after a few hours of this, maybe after lunch, they'll go off on their own and then I can email, blog, knit, read, etc. I mean, I'm sure as I'm typing this that it's a complete load, I just really need to find some way to stop my all-encompassing internet and knitting addictions. The chilluns need my attention, even if it just means to sit and watch a movie with them with nothing to occupy my hands.

meandering today

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 21:50:00 +0000

Rage, rage against the dying of the Light!

This is my new motto. I saw it in this article. These Danielle Conger articles are really great-- helping me with staying mindful, not expecting too much of myself, and such.

Even so, I fell back into the Old Pattern upon waking. At 1:00pm.

So many inner conflicting battles.

I must create. This is the greatest truth about me. Since I was a child, I have had a NEED to create. I see this in Rowan as well. It's like in the Alvin Maker series by Orson Scott Card... the Maker must create to keep the Unmaker at bay.

So I sort of feel like this need to create is almost a mental illness. An obsessive compulsive disorder or something-- although I don't really believe so much in psychology.

I'm not functioning properly with it lately, that's apparent.

Yesterday I went to my dad's house for about 6 hours. It was awesome. I was going to have Chad drive me to the store to get some yarn so I could start on a custom order-- but he was running about an hour late to the place he had to be and I didn't want to push. So this whole time, with just me and Boo Bear and my dad, I didn't have my knitting or my email. Or Ravelry. *gasp!*

But it was okay. Boo Bear just wanted to run around everywhere, and pull straw out of the bottom of the fake tree, and climb on the kitchen table, and throw things in the trash that belonged to my dad. I ran around like a mad crazy woman-- my dad's place is probably 3 times larger than mine so he had a lot more room to run. But by the time the night was over, all I wanted was to have some knitting between myself and the rest of the world, to give me that distance I so crave. (In fact, I didn't get this all night-- the baby was awake bouncing on my head until after I fell asleep. He awoke me by bouncing on my head today.)

Being there without anything to do with my hands also made me realize how often I tell my children to "Wait a minute..." while knitting, then zoning out and forgetting in a minute, on the average about 10 times an hour. (Okay.. so mabe I'm exaggerating. Maybe not-- I haven't started a graph or anything.) And I think... I've tried this before. Can I really balance my drive to create with keeping the house clean, the laundry monster back, and giving my kids the sometimes exhausting amount of attention that they need? There's an article by Ren Allen on just this topic called Unschooling with the Muse, which was exactly what I needed to read.

A few days ago I self-enforced a policy that I'm not allowed to do my own laundry until I get everyone else's clothes washed and put away. But this is just punishing myself, not nurturing myself. Really, how am I supposed to get motivated if I'm wearing a nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a pair of my holey knickers, with cold feet because I have no socks, all day? I thought FlyLady taught me better than that.

I need to nourish myself before I try to give something that I don't have.
It's just a bad cycle I'm in-- of giving myself the go-ahead to create-- letting everything around me fall to shambles-- then spending time doing nothing because I want nothing more than to get back to my very FOCUSED project, yet I'm feeling too guilty.

And I am quite hyper-focused on one project at a time. So much so that it's really difficult, actually painful, to step away from it long enough to even speak, much less get a child some glue or a cookie. This is why I say it's almost a mental illness.

I feel like I spend an inordinate amount of time fending off my children so that I can do art. Perhaps one day I'll be really lucky and make enough money selling my stuff that I could have a studio in my backyard where I can go a couple times a day. Alone.

But truthfully.... I'd rather find that place in me that can invite them to be part of the process, like Ren. I think about her sitting in her closet with a pen and notebook, hiding out with her muse. Of course, my kids are still itty bitty. They require almost constant supervision. Still, I can carve out places for me, to hide away, when appropriate.

This was one of those writings that shows my train of thought. I like that. Excuses melting into cutting myself some slack into giving myself some healing suggestions.

I made it through. Whew.

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:53:00 +0000

The holidays have come and gone (mostly.)

And we are all still alive. Those of us with chilluns should be seriously glad we got through the post-holiday door in one piece.

Because every year, I'm not really sure I'm going to make it. But this year, I made a vow to not let it stress me out. I admit, I stressed some. BUT, it was nothing like years past when I have been crying all night on Christmas Eve while trying to make some gift project work that never had a chance in the first place.

I'm really, really excited about the New Year. I always am.

I posted in my local homeschool email list about a problem I was having. Basically, the Head Start program that Rowan is in by choice is teaching her religious stuff, which I am uncomfortable with. At the same time, I'm really nervous about just keeping her home. After talking with her teachers, and after Ro's grandma calling the administrator and complaining, I think we won't have to worry about the religious overtone too much anymore. My concern was that in a school environment, she'd be taking everything literally as 4-year-olds do. Due to a lot of really personal factors, I think there's a good chance that I won't be pulling her out of there immediately. (I really don't know yet. I'm ultra freaked.)

At any rate I posted to the email group... Ren asked me what I was scared of in regards to pulling her out. I told her basically I just can't seem to get it together, I have no routine. Unschooling can be a really unstructured lifestyle, I know, but I still feel like I need a personal routine to keep the mess down and to take care of myself. I mentioned how I do really awesome at the start of the year, with resolutions and all. Her response: (I don't think she'll mind me posting this here.)

Here's a suggestion...take it how you choose:
Don't make resolutions. Stop making big promises for change. I think
they set people up for failure. Then you get to feel crappy about
yourself and your inablitity to keep the resolution and it adds to
your vision of you as a failure. Why do that to yourself?

I think if something is worth changing in your life, it's worth
changing today. If something is worth doing, do it now. Or work
towards it. We don't need New Year's or big sweeping resolutions to
live better. We need to just take action where we can in this moment.

The next time a situation arises that can cause stress, or behavior
you'd like to change just think of two options and choose the best one
in that moment. Lives are changed in those small choices, in those
seemingly minor situations. One better choice at at time, we build the
life of our choosing. Forget those resolutions and just promise to be
good to yourself.

So that's what I've been doing today. Just trying to be good to myself. I put together the elliptical my mom got me for Christmas, and took a spin on it. I made some tea upon waking instead of the harsh coffee. (I know you guys were eager to hear about how staying caffeinated with coffee was working as an experiment. Not well! Grah! I've been so irritable!)

I read a book cover to cover in one day a couple days back called Living the Creative Life (ideas and inspiration from working artists), by Ricë Freeman Zachary. From this book, I've started to see what I do when I'm making my little monsters and dolls is an act of creation that is not just crafty-- it's art. I've sold the three items that were in my Etsy shop last month and I've got a few more going on commission. I'm really excited about the upcoming year because I know I will be able to pursue my artistry, maybe write some more songs, maybe come up with more designs, who knows, we'll see.

I'm really frighteningly optimistic. I've got people who know me well. They've got my back. The gifts I got this year were really suited for me-- and I couldn't think of anything when my parents asked me what I wanted. I got a box of clementines, an elliptical, a telescope, a wooden Labyrinth game. A lot of chocolate and tangerines. I went out to lunch on my birthday with my mom. An actual steak in an actual restaurant, just me and my mom. Awesome, awesome times.

Last night, I figured I should buy something for me with the money I'd been given over the holidays. It was what those who gave it to me wanted! So I bought a journal. It fits my specifications: Made in the USA and hardback, spiral-bound, unlined pages.

Being good to me, and my babies, is what I need to focus on. I have to take it moment by moment, with a lot of that pigheaded determination that I showed while learning to knit. Being good to me means being mindful, being good to all of us means developing a routine worthy of my time.

Festivus

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:02:00 +0000

What is one to do with bulky weight, scratchier-than-Red-Heart acrylic yarn from the 70's?

You finger-knit a festive garland, of course!

I had a bag of wooden beads from the dollar store that were rough and looked like they were dyed with food coloring. They make it all the more festive. I did get a few splinters from the beads and the yarn was rough to work with as well, but I find it to be a sacrilege to waste yarn, no matter how horrible. It can always be used in something utilitarian.

You can find instructions for how to finger knit here. To use beads, string them all on the yarn with a needle before you start finger knitting. I placed my beads randomly every 2-4 rows. Finger knit until you reach a point where you would like to place a bead, slide the bead up until it's touching between your middle and ring finger, then just finger-knit the other two stitches as usual. The bead will be trapped in between stitches. I used an entire skien of yarn for this project, and it's probably about 8 feet long (although I haven't measured it). It only took me a couple of hours! Since it's made with sort of crappy yarn, you can even use it outside.

This would be a great project for an older child. My 4-year-old can finger knit but doesn't have the patience to do something this long. It's also a great way to take a breather from all the holiday knitting that you are feeling obligated to do.

I've been cross posting to both here and my knitting blog a lot lately. I may end up combining them-- but I lurve them both :/

Solstice Countdown

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:27:00 +0000

I made a little Advent calendar to count down to Solstice today, and I thought I'd share:

It's about 3 feet long, made up of 4x4 inch cardstock cards sewn together with crochet thread. I traced a cup for the circles, wrote some skeleton lettered numbers in pencil, threw in some random dots, and lined them with multiple colors of crayons. After the number 11 is the fire/sun shape-- a symbol of hope in the dead of winter. The circles are little pockets glued on the back in a semi circle, and each has a little piece of paper in it with many of the activities I mentioned in my last post about Solstice. This thing looks like it took forever. There were a lot of steps, sure, but it really didn't take me that long. I had the pieces of cardstock from one of those one pound mixed bags. And it folds up neatly into an accordion-style book-- I used two pieces of red cardstock that were a little bit bigger than the rest as end pieces.

As the winter approaches the days start getting shorter and shorter. Winter Solstice is when that process reverses-- it brings a promise of new light, longer days. The birth of a new Sun, symbolically speaking. (The birth of the Son/Sun is no coincidence.) I'm still having a hard time getting Rowan excited about it, but hopefully she'll come around.

Building Mutual Trust

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 18:27:00 +0000

Last week, the big ugly monster that lives in my voicebox did a lot of yelling. Maybe it was because we were all tired and grumpy and I was faced with the arduous task of cleaning up a week's worth of doing nothing (which didn't happen at all until this weekend).

No matter what the reason, I still am suffering through a lot of guilt. I could hear how the words coming out of my mouth were just not right, but I couldn't seem to stop.

Me: (all bubbly and excited) We're going to have a great time this year. We're celebrating Solstice and the usual Christmas stuff with the family. We're going to make Solstice decorations...
Rowan: I don't want to make Solstice decorations. I want to make Christmas decorations.
Me: Well, Christmas is just another way to celebrate Solstice--
Rowan: No it ISN'T! I want to make CHRISTMAS ornaments!
Me: Okay, well then I guess I'll just get back on the computer while you do that...
Rowan: (incoherent screaming)

Yeah, it wasn't pretty. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I usually turn into some kind of dictator this time of year. It's like... I start the new year out all gung-ho with my resolutions, but by the time September comes around, I'm seriously slacking, and by the time December comes around, I'm useless. I think what bothered me most about this conversation with Rowan was that she has just been flat out telling me, "NO, you're wrong. That's not the way it is," when I tell her a scientific fact, such as the world is round. I understand why she's doing this but it still grates against my nerves. How can I homeschool her if she doesn't trust me?

I was also just sinking into old ways, bad habits, this week. I would just make a big deal out of everything. I didn't try to find ways for Rowan to do what she wanted: i.e. sit in front of the rocking chair that the baby was standing in, while pushing it really hard. They both thought this was hilarious. I was on the phone with my mom and I couldn't hear myself think, and I just exploded. I had made her quit about seven times but she just kept on. I should have just found a way to keep the peace. Yes, it was a potentially dangerous situation, but I had reached a place where I would not have overreacted. Last week, I seem to have strayed far, far away from that place.

In about half an hour, I will be seeing Rowan again (she's been at her dad's since Saturday). I am much more refreshed, and I am going to do this Solstice Advent calendar thing with her starting tomorrow. I am not going to make a big deal out of it. I am not going to cringe when she says the word Christmas, I am just going to do my Solstice things and lead by example. Show her how cool it can be.

I have a long way to go.

Talking to her has been tricky lately. For a long time there after Dairbhre was born (that's Boo Bear, I'm just going to start using his name, yes, it's Gaelic, and we pronounce it DAR-bry even though the official pronunciation of it is something like "Dar-air-ry", and it means "oak forest", and it isn't really even a name, it's just a Gaelic word. So there's some background for you. See why I call him Boo Bear here? The thing is, when he was born, I could have changed it to something that fit him better, but he came out as DARBRY, just as bold as you please. His daddy has already written him an albums worth of songs using his name.)... okay... continuing... so after Dairbhre was born... and even before, with the prenatal exhaustion, I was not the ideal parent. Okay, so I was a complete and total control freak meanie-head. She grew to not trust me. "You can't do this because of [insert random white lie here]." She is smart. She figured me out. She now questions everything I have to say. And I don't blame her!

So right now, we're working on building mutual trust, which takes time and nurturing. We have really really good days, that are just so blissful and lovely. Whole strings of these days in a row, even. Thing is, she's still wanting to go to Head Start (she'll be going there until it's over or until we move, a couple of months at least) and so I'm still having to be the bad guy by making sure she gets to bed early enough to get up in the morning. Right now she needs about 10-11 hours of sleep, or she's staring at the wall in the morning and not eating, or getting dressed, or anything else.

I don't want to be the bad guy anymore. I want to be Rowan's partner, to stand beside her as her equal and to help her find those things that fascinate her. Help her make sense of the world. She's such a bright light, and she's my girl, but she's also her own little girl.

I like that about her.

Gearing up for Solstice

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 01:25:00 +0000

In recent years I've gone through the motions of Christmas only for the kids, finding no personal relevance in the season. I've been depressed about it every time it comes around, I've rolled my eyes at the huge inflatable Santas, and I've felt phony even using the word Christmas.

For the last couple of days I've been researching Winter Solstice. I've learned that solstice means "sun stands still." I've found loads of ways to incorporate it into my kids' lives, through crafts and activities and songs and stories. I'm trying to build new traditions that will be remembered, but that don't make me feel weird or uncomfortable or phony.

I've also got a Solstice countdown calendar in my head which will transpire to paper eventually. Similar to the way an Advent calendar works, my Solstice calendar will start counting down on December 11, 11 days before Solstice. (It falls on December 22nd this year. And I just like the number 11.) Each day has a new activity on it:

Tues Dec 11th: set up Yule tree
Wed Dec 12th: make Solstice ornaments
Thur Dec 13th: make wreaths from evergreens *
Fri Dec 14th: make Yule goats *
Sat Dec 15th: Make Solstice jewelry *
Sun Dec 16th: (My birthday) cut paper snowflakes
Mon Dec 17th: Make a birdfeeder
Tues Dec 18th: make cookies and decorate them.
Wed Dec 19th: Yule cards
Thur Dec 20th: winter scene pictures with paper cutouts, crayons, glitter
Fri Dec 21st: ***SOLSTICE EVE*** Stay up until 1:09am, when Solstice begins. Drink, be merry, etc.
Sat Dec 22nd: Solstice! Family gathering already planned.

It's all still rather rough and up in the air-- there are random days that Rowan will be visiting her dad and I'll have to change things around. Some of the activities won't be any fun without her. The ones marked with an asterisk are the only ones I could think of doing without her! I think my calendar will have all these activities on cards with tape on the back so I can move them around. I'm making this up as I go along anyway.

I'm getting excited about the holidays for the first time since childhood! I have some really quick-knit gift ideas that I've already started on, toys mostly (they normally don't take longer than a day or so). That may seem like I'm waiting until the last minute, but I normally get all the materials with my birthday money and don't start until... December 23rd. So. I'm doing good this year.

I suppose I can either just celebrate Christmas on the outside and feel nothing internally or I can celebrate Solstice and feel some real meaning. This year, I choose to feel.

What a week it's been.

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 23:25:00 +0000

For an entire week, at least someone in my house has been sick with either strep (Rowan) or some sort of stomach flu (the rest of us). It's been just absolutely brutal. Poor Boo Bear had it the worst-- he was throwing up from Thursday to Monday night. The strep culture at the doc's today was negative, so I think it's possibly blown over.

We are all still really weak and tired. I gave the kids all my love and energy and doting upon the first part of the week, and when I got sick I didn't have anything left for me. I didn't eat more than a banana and a piece of toast all weekend, and when my appetite is poor, that's really saying something! I took two naps today. Boo Bear is seeming kind of frail too. At the doc's he just sat on my lap for most of the time while I bounced him.

I'm just now trying to get the gumption to clean up the debris of the last week. I have been reading blogs but haven't left comments because I have seriously misplaced my brain!

Thanks for being such a sweetheart, Colleen :D Just when I thought that no one would notice my absence!

I will post more real content when I am feeling 100%. It'll be sometime in the next couple of days.

Tying it all together

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:31:00 +0000

I am so hyper-focused, on one thing at a time. I get obsessed about my health, or knitting, or the state of my house, or parenting, and to hell with all the rest.

I made my first turkey last night. Which means I am now a grown up. I need to start trying to manage life. No, not try, I need to start doing it.

I've noticed the last few days that I've been less likely to go outside or actually DO anything because I can't find clean socks for anyone without digging through boxes. I'm less likely to make something nutritious because I have to clean up the kitchen to cook. I'm less likely to delve into a new knitting idea because I'd have to get all the stuff from on top of my yarn box and then dig through the tangled mess. It's ridiculous. Something must be done.

But I come New! and Improved! and armed with caffeine. I've had a hell of a time getting myself to get out of bed in the mornings, so I've decided I must start drinking coffee first thing again-- and remain caffeinated throughout the day. It's way better than laying in the floor.

I must return to the FlyLady as well... as much as I hate to admit that I need help.

Next I can add stuff like actually moving (i.e. getting exercise). But first I think I'll trade all my vices for more coffee.

Yeah. That's a good idea. I'm sure that will work itself out.

Video post

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 16:19:00 +0000

Now, you'll have to bear with me. I've never done a video post before. But I've been cruising YouTube today (man, I'm behind the times) and find these videos to be endearing and spot on.

Ron Paul on Homeschooling

I'm not sure how I feel about Ron Paul as a presidential candidate as I honestly haven't researched any candidates yet, but I really like his views on homeschooling.

Dayna Martin-- "What is Unschooling?"

Dayna Martin-- "Is Unschooling Legal? and Peaceful Parenting"

Dayna Martin-- "Authentic Parenting"

Dayna Martin-- "Are Unschoolers prepared for the Real World?"

Dayna Martin-- "What is Radical Unschooling?"

You can see more Dayna Martin videos here.

It's probably time to stop watching educational videos on YouTube and go do something about the stinky kitchen.

Thanksgiving fuzzies

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 18:56:00 +0000

When Rowan got up yesterday (still all bleary eyed) I asked her what she was thankful for. I thought I might get an interesting answer out of the sleepy fog.

"I'm thankful for Thanksgiving," she said.

Well put, adorable mastermind.

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I'm thankful that I have such an interesting, kooky, and fun-to-be-with family, on both sides.

I wish someone would have taken pictures. The kids were all dressed up, and I don't dress them up very often. Rowan picked out her clothes (and was very insistent): she was dressed in a white crinkly dress with little pink roses and some fancy new white dress shoes. When she walked you could hear the dress going "swish, swish." Boo Bear was dressed in what appeared to be 19th century garb: a white linin shirt with a mandarin collar, and these velvet maroon pants that came up to his chest held by suspenders. He looked darling as well as sort of comical. When I was born my Mamaw Lucy said, "OH! I could just pinch her little head off!" I really FELT that yesterday. Strong urges like that must be avoided! :D

Surprisingly, I didn't eat much. It probably isn't that surprising when you consider that most of the time I was taking something breakable out of Boo Bear's hands, or someone's drink. I spent even more time trying to wind him down and let him take a nap, because all the people really, really overwhelmed him. Rowan went to her dad's after we left Grandmother's, and Boo Bear took a long, overdue nap. Then we ate a fourth of a pumpkin pie that was in the fridge, just me and the Boo. That made up for it all!

The Socialization Epidemic

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 17:04:00 +0000

Called the "s" question among homeschoolers, "What about social skills?" is a question that comes up over and over. I asked it myself, with a straight face and everything. As all of these posts are lately, this is just a good place to calm the nerves of my family. Their concerns are valid and need to be dealt with. I'm not exactly trying to be some published author here :D

I would never want my kids to be isolated. I'm not going to homeschool because I want to shelter them. It's just an opportunity that I've been given, to improve this next generation. I think that should be the goal of all generations-- and it is, but I want to take a different approach. Perhaps one that will work.

Although I'm not doing this to shelter my kids, I do think that a lot of the social interaction that kids get in school these days is altogether negative. I think there is a lot more greediness, bullying, and sitting at a desk and being silent than there is quality time spent together. At the end of a post entitled Socialization, the author says: And let's not forget the battle cry of teachers across the country..."Young lady, you're not here to socialize!"

That's really a great article altogether, and if you have concerns about socialization you should read it.

One of the concerns that a family member had was that the kids would miss out on positive peer pressure. The theory being that a child will feel weird about not learning something that all her peers are learning, and that pressure will make her learn it. I don't feel like that is positive. And furthermore, if that's a real concern, you need to understand that homeschooled kids DO get interaction with other kids, and perhaps they will want to learn what their other homeschooled friends are learning or even their schooly friends!

I've come to the conclusion that others say it much better than me. So, I give you some quotes on socialization that I have gotten from various blogs and other sources. I will be adding to this post as I find other great ones.

Do you have any fabulous things to say on the topic of socialization? A quote or a personal rant? If so, please leave them in the comments!

I found this the other day at a local news blog:
Now, the Tri-Cities homeschooling community is so big that parents have formed vibrant and active “co-op’s” in which homeschooled students gather for group activities like art, sports, science, and even band. In other words, the lack of peer to peer social contact no longer seems to be an issue. Don't Mess with the Homeschoolers, by Josh Smith.

Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize. from The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

Explaining what I've learned thus far... Part II

noreply@blogger.com (rupestur) — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 18:01:00 +0000

Part of unschooling is definitely letting go of notions about what kind of learning is "important." I've read a lot on the topic of video games and TV lately, and how they not only do not rot your brain, but they are also learning tools. Very effective ones, even. Some kids are learning to read by playing games, and some of the more interactive games are teaching kids problem solving, character/plot/world building, even math skills. The games that can be played online give kids an opportunity to be social with peers from all over the world. These games are much more complex than people give them credit for. For those not in the know (like ME) these games can seem like they are junk food for the brain. On closer inspection, you can really see how difficult some of them are. They are also giving kids an opportunity to connect with their peers and getting them ready for life in the 21st century. They will be more ready for it than I am!

Rowan isn't into the games so much right now, but I have noticed that she is learning by watching TV. We watch Futurama on DVD a lot around here. (Some of the episodes are sexier than others, we switch to the next one in that case.) I have been sitting with her and asking her questions about what is going on. By doing this, I've learned that she is following some really complex plots. I'm not sure I would have known what was going on at that age. One thing that I think is really cute and impressive is that now she is really into stuff like space monsters, mutants, robots, aliens, spaceships, etc. She is all the time drawing robots. These are the basics of a lot of science fiction story lines. When she gets older she may be more into stuff like Star Trek or Star Wars because of this early exposure to Futurama, and that could lead to really complex science fiction novels and video games. A love of science fiction can lead to a love of science, even a profession in science. I'm not saying that it will definitely, but it's just as possible as anything else.

It's really important to examine those things that I've thought in the past were just garbage and completely un-educational. So she likes Barbies. I thought before that they were teaching her how women are supposed to look (even though Barbie has a completely impossible shape), that they were making her into a material person, etc. Then I remembered. Hey, I used to play with Barbies for hours at a time. What was I doing while I was playing with them? I wasn't getting up every five minutes to go ask my mom to buy me some more. I was creating very complex plots and stories. And really, I sort of wish I could get over how weird I'd feel if I tried to play with them again. These days I cannot come up with a simple storyline, at all. Maybe if I tried to play with dolls again, I would!

She's also very into coloring right now. She does do drawings, some of them still resembling baby scribbles, but she is mostly working out of coloring books. She's actually getting really good and will color for an hour or longer some days. If a character on the page has a striped shirt, she's coloring all the stripes. It's also interesting to see how changing one color on the page can make the entire picture seem like it has a different story, give it a whole new perspective. Looking over her finished product is always very fun, because I can tell that she perceived the picture very differently than I did on first glance.

My girl is learning while watching TV and coloring, there is no doubt. She likes to turn on Buddy Holly and dance. She tries to yodel like Patsy Montana. She says, "Hey listen to this, I wrote this song." She's altogether very bright and creative, and I'm glad that I am no longer focusing on the negative aspects of her interests.